Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold onto something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain.
Everything changes eventually, that's just the way life is, and you have no control over it. Like, suddenly, people who you think are always going to be there. They disappear, you know? :/